Friday, April 18, 2008

The wind of change

Well.

There is always changes in life. I hope this will be better.

Is quite a drastic decision but not a surprise decision to me. I actually prefer to go into industry with a higher degree but I have to take it now.

After all, I am not someone so hardcore that I want to be a PhD by 30 years old. And further education is to equip oneself, there will be the day I go back to academic but I could be doing so well that a PhD degree will become totally irrelevant. Lets take it as it goes.

Wish me best and I am looking forward to new job.

on the side notes which may related too. After I attended the speech from Prof. George Augustine from Duke University, followed by the interview with him at the graduate medical school, I make a silence wish to myself.

One day I want to speak English like he did. Not because he has accent but it was simply gentle, elegant and precise. I know it is tough because it looked easy. and I want my presentations delivered in such an elegant manner too. =)

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

咳咳咳

好辛苦。

非常懊恼,想骂人。

咳嗽害人不浅。

Friday, April 11, 2008

转载分享分享

我最爱你
by小花牛

爸爸,前几天你过生日,又是被妈提醒了我才想起来给你打电话。我真不是一般的糊涂。

我最爱你,这和血缘没太大关系。如果我妈不是我妈,我才不喜欢她呢。可如果你不是我爸,我也一样爱你。

我爱你不是因为你爱我。我爱你,就像爱一个独立美好的人一样。你是我认识的所有人里最坚强,最清白,最可爱的一个。

其实我不如你,没如过。恨。

前年咱俩比赛爬长城,我都输你了,不是故意输的。当时真是拼命想追上你,心脏都要累爆炸了。

23岁的我,追不上53岁的你。

我不怎么乐意,从小到大和你赛过那么多次跑,可什么时候能赢你一次啊。

我小时候,你从来不让我亲别人,说怕别人脸蛋脏,怕我吃了细菌生病,可我现在……

我小时候,听您说过一句“操蛋”。我问你操蛋是什么意思。你一下满脸通红,说:爸爸错了,你不要跟爸爸学,爸爸以后永远不说脏话了。你确实再没说过了,可我现在……

从我和你膝盖一样高开始,到我长成个大姑娘为止,你从来没停止过热情洋溢地对我说:你脑子好,考清华准跟玩儿一样,你将来要当科学家,做大学问的。可我现在……我跟清华的关系,也就是在其大门口照过张像,跟我没出息的小男朋友在门口亲过嘴儿。

有一次你伤心地告诉我,你年轻时代很信仰马列主义毛泽东思想来着,后来你看到了很多事情,认清了好多是非。于是就算了,伤心地把读书笔记都撕了。

你说你希望我远离政治,做个清淡的学者。可我现在时不时地在网上抽风骂人,在生活中也经常跟朋友们玩儿宁死不屈,一副愤青嘴脸。我又没听你话。

去年咱俩聊天,说到轻狂处,我竟然开始痛斥你松。你笑,说你年轻时候比我有锋芒,更关键的是理论水平比我高多了。

哼。

你一直希望我别弄文科,希望我学个手艺或者理工科。我听你的了,可我现在不抓紧时间做研究,却总上网写些个胡乱东西……

爸爸,是不是我太混蛋了?

爸爸,你教给了我那么多美好的道理。可是就因为听你的,我受了可多委屈呢。

你说人天然有自由有尊严,但中国人没有。你说你最不愿意看见的就是我跟中国大多数人一样,扭曲,压抑,算计,精明。

爸爸,我听你的了。可因为这个不想扭曲,我可受委屈呢。他们都嫌我特立独行,嫌我锋芒毕露,嫌我价值观和他们不一样,嫌我不会说话,不会来事,不懂人情世故。他们凑在一起议论我的风流韵事还都特积极来劲。

爸爸,我觉得有点委屈,我一点也不坏呀。

你说不用我回家看你,也不用我给你钱,更不用我照顾你的晚年。你说你是老虎,茁壮地生,利索的死,老虎不用虎崽子管。

爸爸,我觉得你说得非常有道理。我想,将来我有了孩子,我也不给孩子任何羁绊和负担。我也不催促他回家看我,也不跟他要钱。可跟朋友聊起这个,他们都说我连父母都不知道孝顺,“还能对谁好?!”

爸爸,你看你那些破理论,没人承认!

你说,我应该自强自立,永远不要指望爱情和婚姻能给我带来幸福。你说一个人如果自己摆不平自己的内心,妄图让另一半来帮助自己,那结果肯定是失败。自己失败,还会连累了另一半的幸福。

你要我活的从容,坚强,别慌张,你说如果我慌了,那是我自己的问题。别指望从婚姻中拿到什么。你说婚姻是我的责任,是我的付出,而已。

爸爸,我听你的了。在感情问题上我特别坚强,自立,不耍赖。可是我怎么发现我身边的人大多都喜欢赖唧的呢?或者喜欢矜持点,惊恐点,楚楚可怜点的,依靠他们点的。

爸爸,现在我是越来越懒的装可怜了。可是我好委屈呢,你教错我了呀,其实我越软弱,才越象他们的情人儿。

你一直在撵我离开家。从我记事那天起,你就总说咱俩就18年缘分,过一天少一天。你说得准,18岁我确实离开了家,现在就在外面漂着。

前几天我打电话给你,说我很孤独。你告诉我,我永远孤独,只能去面对,除了我完善的内心,没有什么能帮助我战胜孤独。男人不能,金钱也不能。

你怎么才告诉我这事儿呢?

去年我回家,为了点委屈又趴在你怀里掉眼泪,你抚摸着我的长发说,人活着总归是不容易,不死就要挣扎着活下去。只好乐观,必须健康。

爸爸,你太狡猾了。我小时候你可没把人生说得这么无奈,那时候你总把大人的世界说得特好,跟极地阳光似的,听得我傻乐。

我回头一想,你怎么这样啊。

你竟然跟我说,假如你失去了我和妈妈,你也一样清晨做操,傍晚编书,一日三餐荤素有致,日升日落云卷云舒地活下去。

我喊老头你够狠!你平静地告诉我,我也必须这么狠。你说,即使只剩下自己,只要还剩下自己,就要认真的活下去。对于堕落,人没有任何借口。

爸爸我爱你。可我还是觉得你挺狠的,你是为了让我坚强才这么说吧。

10岁那年,我养的小鸡死了一只,捧着小鸡,我哭了好几个小时,眼睛都肿了。你走过来,摸摸我的头,扛起我走到一个僻静地方帮我埋好了小鸡。那天你说过:这是死。

你不弄傻贵装修,一看电视就撇嘴,过年的时候非要给我讲鞭炮文化究竟怎样地反映了中国人的自私心理。

和你上街最麻烦。你总拉着我的手,高兴了什么都不管,非要背着我。或者,你总是喋喋不休的说:工人不敬业呀,你看马路牙子修的多差;社会没规矩呀,你看手工作坊建居然在马路上;中国人易激惹呀,你看行人脸色多么庸俗,眼神多么凌厉冷峻。

呵呵,爸爸呀。

前几天你离开家乡,跑到深圳应聘,待遇挺一般的。你说乐意!够花就行呗,你说要在一个空气好些的地方生活,你才不要在中国的污染城市自杀呢。

大年三十晚上,你一个人在宿舍看电视。在电话里你对我说:“我才不要在污染城市自杀呢——春晚真傻。”

你不知道,听完你的话我热泪盈眶,胸中热气激荡。你给了我多少力量啊,我的爸爸。

爸爸,我自己是不想生孩子了。毕竟还是觉得生命太辛苦了,世界太让我失望了。我总觉得让一个孩子健康快乐地成长是我力所不能及的事儿。我和世界进行过的种种磨合,那孩子也必将经历,想到这个我就不高兴。何苦呢,你说是不是?

你生了我,这个我不谢你,因为没什么可谢的。其实我反倒没少在心里埋怨你:干嘛要生我,怎么不生个别人,我觉得活着他*的累死了!

不过除了生命,你还给了好多别的东西,比如快乐,热情,坚强,勤奋(谁说我不勤奋我跟谁急!),还有,你告诉我,人应该有自由有尊严,应该有不屈不挠的精神。随着时间的流逝,我越来越发现你教给我的这些是金子,最美好的东西不外如此。为此我真的要谢谢你。

等着!哪天女儿把这个文章给你看看,让你也美一美。我真羡慕你,有一个可爱的机灵鬼儿跟你混了十多年,还肯辛辛苦苦写文章夸你好。你怎么那么好福气呀。

你就写不出来吧,这点你就不如我:我比你细腻,会表达感情。你说是不是?

让我赢你一次吧。

祝爸爸生日快乐!

我有点想你啦。

Sunday, April 6, 2008

君主体制 and 2/3 majority

I read something from Malaysia-Today. I thought is quite informative and everyone of us should ready to re-educated ourselves as most of us were ignorant and know little about Malaysia.

But the chief editor of Malaysia Today is sometimes a bit long winded. I think maybe all Royal family member or people in power like to talk very long. Perhaps, Raja Petra is no exception. :P

I will just extract out what we should know from his article, about Monarchy and the 2/3 majority in Parliament.

So lets begin with some questions so that you can relate to the answer better.

Why is the Monarchy crucial? Can Malaysia function without a Monarchy? Is a two-thirds majority in Parliament crucial? Can the government function without its two-thirds majority in Parliament?

Malaysia is like UK, because we used to be their colony in the east. so in many ways we adopted their system when independent, Monarchy 君主体制 is one of them. the opposite of Monarchy is republic 共和体制.

Monarchy means we have Agong, UK have Queen Elizabeth that are not elected. Republic like America got their President elected. of course this is a simple classification, there are a lot of areas overlap, but the core never changed. We still don't vote to decide who is Agong.

Malaysia has a law called the Sedition Act. if you ask for Monarhcy system to be abolished, it is a crime under the Sedition Act. Meaning asking for Malaysia to be turned into a Republic can get you jailed.

Of course, the Sedition Act can be amended so that a proposal to turn malaysia into Republic is no longer a crime. But only two-thirds (2/3) majority of Parliament can do this.

In the process of independent, advisors and leaders from UK and Malaya including Tunku Abdul Rahman drafted the Constitution 宪法 of Malaya (Malaya = Sabah, Sarawak and Spore still not part of Malaysia).

Then this Constitution of Malaya evolved into The Federal Constitution of Malaya that came into force on 27 August 1957, four days before Merdeka.

Then, with significant amendments, it became the Federal Constitution of Malaysia when Malaya, Sabah, Sarawak, and Singapore merged to form Malaysia in 1963.

The Federal Constitution of Malaysia can be amended and has been amended many times. The Constitution itself has provisions under Articles 159 and 161E on how it may be amended. And the amendments can be made by federal law and in the following ways:

1. Some Articles may be amended only by a 2/3 majority in each House of Parliament but only if the Conference of Rulers consents to it. This means, even if you have a 2/3 majority in Parliament, you can’t amend these Articles in the Constitution unless the Rulers agree to the amendments. This would be with regards to the following:

* Amendments pertaining to the powers of sultans and their respective states
* The status of Islam in the Federation
* The special position of the Malays and the natives of Sabah and Sarawak
* The status of the Malay language as the official language

2. Some Articles in the Constitution related to Sabah and Sarawak may be amended by a 2/3 majority in each House of Parliament but only if the Governors of the two East Malaysian states concurs. This would be with regards to the following:

* Citizenship of persons born before Malaysia Day
* The constitution and jurisdiction of the High Court of Borneo
* The matters with respect to which the legislature of the state may or may not make laws, the executive authority of the state in those matters and financial arrangement between the Federal government and the state.
* Special treatment of natives of the state

3. Then there are some Articles in the Constitution that may be amended by a 2/3 majority in each House of Parliament. These amendments do not require the consent of anybody outside Parliament. (The extension of the tenure of the Chairman of the Elections Commission is one case in point).

4. Some Articles, which are not that important, may be amended by Parliament with just a simple majority. You, therefore, do not need a 2/3 majority in Parliament in some cases.

It must further be noted that, according to Shad Saleem Faruqi, as at 2005, the Constitution has been amended 42 times over the 48 years since independence. However, as several amendments were made each time, he estimates the true number of individual amendments at around 650. Shad argued that there is no doubt that the spirit of the original document has been diluted. This sentiment has been echoed by other legal scholars who argue that important parts of the original Constitution, such as jus soli (right of birth) citizenship, a limitation on the variation of the number of electors in constituencies, and Parliamentary control of emergency powers, have been so modified or altered by amendments that the present Federal Constitution bears only a superficial resemblance to its original model. It has been estimated that between 1957 and 2003, almost thirty Articles have been added and repealed as a consequence of the frequent amendments.

so can you now see the logic in not allowing any one party, whether Barisan Nasional or Pakatan Rakyat, in having a two-thirds majority in Parliament? Giving them two-thirds is like having no opposition at all. Better they rule without the two-thirds and the oppositions supports any bills that deserve supporting while they can oppose anything that should be opposed. If this were the case then the Chairman of the Elections Commission would have never seen his tenure extended and the recent general election would not have been rife with fraud.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Good Friday

It was a good Friday.

Went out with jy and chet for dinner in ThaiExpress. Brought back so many good memories and is really good to see jy again. i mean sit down and share our feelings without worry about my lunch time is up.

Althought chet also in NUS but she is always stuck in the lab with her mice and working all-week. I used to wait for 3 months before she managed to squeeze out a lunch with me. but i am so proud of her, she will be the first in my batch to be a Ph.D. ya, in about 12 months time we will have a Dr Chua.

We went from Thai Express to 亚坤 for a coffee, just to change an chatting environment. sigh, I feel like we were back to the days in hall, when everyday doing all sorts of assignments, lectures and SMB together. Unfortunately kayu last minute unable to join us, else it will be a SMB-sort of reunion, although it wasn't for the name of SMB gathering. They were all one of the first few I mixed with in hall when I first came to singapore. still great-pals. and 2 out of 4 will be Ph.D. soon. Kayu is leaving for Duke University in August.

I realised we have not been taking photo together, and this is the only one when we went to Sabah 4 years ago. The guy is the local that brought us to the snake island nearby Pulau Tiga.



Sadly, that was my last proper trip with them. my last holiday too, until now.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

给所有无法离开电视的朋友

我在Vivocity看书,看到蔡康永的书。这个。

我跟你说,我现在只想到一个人。一个最需要看这篇文章的人。希望你会看到。

7月21日 湖边

亲爱的宝宝:

听说有人在电视里面找深度耶。我好诧异。

电视很方便,但很肤浅,在电视里面找深度,太看得起电视了,太看不起电视没出现前的文明史了。

何苦看电视找深度啊?为什么不去看书呢?

7月22日 从湖边回家的路上

亲爱的宝宝:

和你最亲的那个女生,跟我是因为电视才认识的。光凭着这一点,我就很喜欢电视。

我和她都是做电视节目的人。但我不会因为这样,就对电视放水。相反的,我们应该要比一般人更了解电视做得到的事和做不到的事。就像养鸡的人,不应该假装鸡既会生鸡蛋,又会打毛线。

电视只是吉卜赛算命师桌上的水晶球。我们透过它看到一些别人的事,就这样。

我们看到别人踢足球,但我们自己瘫在沙发上。我们看到有人在打仗、有的房子被火烧,但我们只有力气烦心我们的背痛和青春痘。我们关心一堆存在或不曾存在过的皇帝大官格格大侠煞有介事地活着,但这些人永远不会关心我们,连看都永远不会看我们一眼。

我们见证各国人种在我们眼前抵死缠绵的恋爱,但我们自己好寂寞。

亲爱的宝宝,电视没有那么不好,电视只是让我们误以为好多人好多事都跟我们有关,却忘了提醒我们一声:

其实那些通通不是我们的人生。

当然,我这篇转载你也许根本没看到。

因为你还在看电视。当然,还有其他无法离开电视的朋友。

文人情意结

我以为,我生为文人。

每次能够产生共鸣的,老实说,文字多于图。虽然图有图的尽在不言中,我其实较能被文字感动。

我一天到晚技痒,从小学时期就学人写小说,到中学还在写,还搞上了武侠小说。快毕业时还写剧本。胸有大志,可惜眼高手低。没有一次完成。

现在看看,从一开始的那个几个月后,搬来这里到现在三年多,前后博客已经写了四年进入第五个年头。我发现,其实博客和作家是不同的。一个喜欢才写,一个在写着吃饭。博客写得好的人不一定能成为作家,主要是因为博客免费,读者要求不同。再来是别人不过听你念念,说说政府,扮演非主流媒体,传播资讯很快,担心你的博客能成为革命工具,但不会有人担心你的博客会掀起什么文学革命。

所以,象我这个刻意在网络上消失的博客,我不说,没有人会知道它的存在。连谷歌都不会找到。就不过是个和朋友发发牢骚的地方,不想让陌生人来担心我的心事,最重要的是可以不客气地逼他们看我的拙作,自己过过作家瘾,得空看看有没有留言。

我知道我无法成为一个完完全全的文人,因为我知道我要靠写作吃饭的时候,我就会写不出,写不好。生性慵懒,无法持之以恒,只好以写了五年日记聊以自慰。

可是我有文人情意结。我都说了,我以为,我生为文人。也许,现在我训练自己最少一星期写一篇,可以维持对事情的敏感度,也暂时滋养一下心里那片文艺田园,才不会荒芜了用十四本金庸换来得文笔。

是天生丽质难自弃,还是那文人的拗耿脾气又发作?

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Kennysia annoucement


Damn it.

If you all notice, i have several blogs of favorites. Ranging from buddies, famous bloggers, celebrities, Chinese blogs or English blogs. And the best of among the favorites were indicated by the **

Kennysia is the only one from English based blog. at least as the blog names indicates.

I visit his blog every now and then. very diligently surfing his blog.

and this is what i read today.







damn it. damn him.

nice try, kenny.