月红日。姨妈至也。

汉末，有女名佳，年方二八，自幼父母双亡，承欢姨娘。日久，媒事渐多，女独喜李郎。

李生多情，私会家中。几要亲近，忽闻屐声。佳曰：姨妈至。李生藏。

甘露后，李生纳媒，佳入李门。洞房之时，李郎宽衣拔蜡，欲行云雨。佳逢月红，羞言，曰：姨妈至。李郎顿悟，停房事。

至此，李佳氏（例假时）月红日，惯曰：姨妈至。

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好好，这是来翻译的。

汉朝末期，有个姑娘叫佳儿，二十八岁，从小父母双亡，跟姨妈住。后来，慢慢地上门提亲的多了，可是佳儿只喜欢一个姓李的男生。

李生很咸湿，偷偷在佳儿家中幽会。有次想要缠绵，突然听到鞋子走来的声音。佳儿就说，是姨妈来。李生就藏起来。

不久，李生提亲，佳儿嫁入李门。要洞房的时候，李老公脱光光想要。佳儿刚好月经，羞答答地说，姨妈来。李生顿时明白，不再索求。

到了今天，李佳氏月经时都叫着，姨妈来了。

Chronic Inflammation

If you don't know what is chronic inflammation, in Chinese layman term it's called 慢性发炎.

Chronic = 慢性
Inflammation = 发炎

Inflammation is a general symptom that our body response to injury, irritation or infection. The inflammation is a body auto-response that is supposed to help you recover from injury, irritation or infection. Besides the above chronic inflammation, there is another kind called acute inflammation, 急性发炎.

Acute = 急性

you heard 急性盲肠炎 before right? Acute Appendicitis. Literally it is an acute (急性) inflammation (炎) of the appendices (盲肠). 盲肠急性发炎. Since is is so 急, that's why the patient cannot wait, must operation fast to take out the inflamed appendices. if it is chronic appendicitis, as we know it is that 慢, that's why you heard some people said they last for few weeks/months before they have operation.

盲肠发炎 is inflammation of appendices; if inflammation happened in another part of body, eg 关节(发)炎 is arthritis (inflammation of joint), 肝(发)炎 is Hepatitis (inflammation of liver) etc etc.

So today we learn 6 new words. Acute(急性), chronic(慢性), inflammation(炎), appendicitis(盲肠炎), arthritis(关节炎)and Hepatitis(肝炎).

Actually I am not here to talk about what I'd just said.

I just wanted to tell you I'd just argued fiercely with my boss that where is the direction of my on-going publication write up should head to. yah, i am writing a scientific paper, and forever writing it. never get done.

why i can't see the end? because all researcher are greedy and patience enough to accumulate enough data before publish it, in order to make a greater impact. just like you have a blockbuster movie in the progress, but you don't leak it out the moment you shoot the first scene. you wait for it to complete and launch it in style and fashion with a well made trailer, so that ppl will want to watch your real movie.

But sometimes there is a line to draw. you don't want to shoot the movie 2046 until the year 2046. you have to close it even if you think it is imperfect. you learn it and you make a better movie next time. unless you are simply enjoy the making process and no pressure to deliver.

i have pressure to deliver, and i know yc has too. maybe she is more ambitious and patience. and i guess she is aiming a better first publication from me.

Sigh, i can never imagine i could talked like that to yc. I am getting frustrated by the "keep-including-new-data" cycle. My mind has never rested and settled regardless how many days of break I have had in the CNY.

I have been pushing myself to finish the lab work so that i can sit down and write the paper for my post-graduate enrollment program. and now I've missed 2 intake since the day i decided to do master/PhD. simply because i cannot get the paper out in time.

So what is this going to do with the inflammation?

How I wish it is just acute inflammation. I am just here to tell you I am developing this stupid chronic inflammation mentally. If you don't know, usually acute inflammation doesn't kill, and easy to treat. Panadol will cure it most of the time.

But chronic inflammation kills.

And if you still cannot imagine, Tuberculosis is one of them.

Don't know what is Tuberculosis? then you learn the 7th word today.

TB or 肺结核.

Still catch no ball? cancer, heart attack, stroke.

Opps, you learn 10 words today.

踏步前行

生活还未细细品茗，又要踏步前行了。

有人在中学毕业时对我说，还写在纪念册里。这种话那时听了觉得很老，年纪小小就深诣人生，象是追求梦想而无可奈何的别离。那个年代少年老成总是比较吃香。

现在这道理怎么看都不对，就是少年不知愁滋味强说愁。不停地前行，不停地前行。一次又一次地浅尝着深切的生活，蜻蜓点水般过日子，到底什么才是真正的生活啊? 前行终究不是生活的目的嘛。如果前进是人生在世的唯一目的，那会象王家卫电影里那只没有脚的鸟，永远只能自由地飞翔，不停地飞。有一天它着陆了，因为它死掉了。

几天前在看台湾节目，有个主持叫徐乃麟，说，摄影棚站久了，就是你的。说得真合我胃口，好不好则另当别论。没什么速成的，就脚踏实地地干，刻苦耐劳，谦虚谨慎......听起来好悲哀，其实我好想不劳而获。我很懒惰，天天用什么激励话来维持活力未免太假。小鸟本来就是要飞的，有没有脚都一样。如果天天还要自我鞭策般让翅膀挥动，我就会开始怀疑其实我并不是鸟。而分别就是在有飞行目的地和漫无目的罢了。

前不前行其实和不劳而获有一点关系，通常不劳不获才会想拼命前行，希望行到一片黄金遍地的乐土。好了，修成正果了，眼前全是白花花的银子和黄澄澄的金子。你现在很成功了，整个摄影棚是你的了，回头一看。他妈的，人老朱黄不说，由于不顾一切勇往直前，一路上有点万骨枯的景像，通常还失去最重要的东西。那时就会很唏嘘地唱赵传的我终于失去了你。

生活真是充满疾苦呢。是不是应该细细品茗，才会苦尽甘来?

Money in the balance

This is the day when I felt the impact of money.

I am someone who always thinks that money is just money and what is enough is enough. You live at your own means as long as financially allowed, because you spent at the manner of how much you earn. If you can’t finish off 1 million dollars, 1 billions dollars is meaningless. It’s just a number.

I’ve grown up without experienced the prowess of money. I have never seen the money in front of my eyes created any magical moment as long as I can remember. Maybe there is not much money to begin with. In fact, the greatest moment in my memory was the day I suddenly notice the amount of dishes on the dinning table was directly proportional to the financial status at home.

Then I learned the importance of money. But importance is not exactly prowess.

I was in a rare mood of calculating my financial token. And I found myself was heavily associated with liabilities. And this is the time I hate myself having “financial freedom” as the only word surface in my mind which abused by way too many MLM and insurance companies. I thought I was over-fuelled with pride to distant myself with them.

The direct influence would be from ej and jiun who are getting married very soon. The more they shared with me the more I see my financial fragility. It would be just nice as how I live now, but a greater financial commitment would certainly threaten.

Certain expected and unexpected incidents (that needs money) really annoyed me. The frustration is accumulating until I have a moment of detestation. I hate my brother doesn’t study hard enough to ease the financial pressure; I hate my father who has no plan for everything, I hate my mum for earning too little, and I hate myself for not done enough to earn. Sometimes I feel like a crying baby who is too helpless to do anything except whining and complaining. I even hate myself not being a son of Bill Gates.

But as soon as I thought of vs and her family, I laughed at myself for being too weak; even I have self-claimed a person with provider instinct.
Anyhow, I’ve seen my parents struggle with money, and out-wrested most of the time by the reality. With three children waiting for meals everyday surely doesn’t help at all. I always wonder how my parents “dare” to have three kids with such financial condition. I told my mum you are so brave. What I didn’t tell her was it was a poor decision.

I thought education is the best way to escape from poverty. So I make sure I graduate and find a decent job. Then I am constantly in search of a balance between money and satisfaction in the job. Yet sometimes you just have to swallow the fact that it is not about how much you can learn but it is how much you can earn. With growing financial commitment in all area, be it obligated or not, it is starting to haunt me. There is growing in fear that I can’t cope with it, especially in the near future. Every time I work my ass off and see I am the only one working hard to lead the progress and deliver the most in the lab, I feel like an idiot. Idiot that think of this is for the good of me so don’t bother.

But this is the time I need more motivation practically, not spiritually. For someone like me who has no 13 months bonus, no performance bonus, not covered by steady salary increment scheme, the only thing left is 28 days annual leave that I will never able to use up.

I work with pride and practice with professionalism, I know I deserved better treatment. Or at least, I am not working without knowing my price. You pay peanut for monkey, not the qualities I possess.

I hope I have sent my delicate message that mixed with personal request and expectation clearly.

Sigh, it’s just one of the many chores that are bothering.