竹内结子 Yuko Takeuchi

我最近看了很多电影。The Prestige，看蝙蝠侠对X-Men, 好看，不过我不喜欢。然后之前就是那出好看又喜欢的ま、会いにゆきます。然后没有了。唔，其实不是很多。哈哈。现在在看木村和竹内结子的 The Pride，借的。

因为我喜欢上竹内结子。


象以前喜欢中山美穗那样。


然后又发现了一些很象样的地方。


看了情书后，看沉睡的森林，2000之恋。。。不停地看，角色不同了，也渐渐失去热忱。我想，我只是喜欢第一次看见她们那出戏里的角色。中山美穗1995年的情书，和竹内结子2004年的ま、会いにゆきます。突然发现两部电影相隔九年，不知不觉的九年后，我才看到另一个中山美穗。

不难明白吧。

外表散发着亮丽的光华而不炫目，感觉亲切而不遥远。表面恬静，内心丰富，人性化，朴素。

就是这些。

所以。

不难明白吧。

deadline deadline

It is going to be my first phase of closing my first major research project. i think this is important to me, because it makes me feel i've accomplished sth significant.

After discussed with yc i think the skeleton of the paper is almost done, with important figures are ready to get their places. 5 more weeks to work on all of the remaining experiments, and then going on a stretch of leave with a holiday trip to cameroon followed by 1 week MC due to operation. then december will be my time to write the paper, get the draft done by christmas, have a break and then sent the manuscript to publisher by CNY, then go celebrate edi haha.... finger cross, yc had offered me the first authorship, i hope things go well. i am determine to explore how much i hv improve exactly, so far. growing in any attribute in any aspect of life is a gratifying experience. call me naive now, there is no money involve in spite of the massive effort i had put in.

it's sth else. there is fame and influence, which is not within measure range of money capable of. As the first name appearing in a scientific literature in international publication is probably my carrot, probably the source of courage too. hmm...i wonder if how many ppl will read my paper....


my alternative source of inspiration.....

that's why I always feel that there isn't much time for me to catch the deadline for 2007 August intake of postgraduate program these days. else have to enrol for 2008 january edi. And what make thing worse is i have been long perceive the deadlne is on January. today i checked the deadline.

thanks.

it is 1st december.

there is no way i could meet the date considering the tasks on plate now. fortunately was lunch with kayu and we talked about it. she said it is still possible to submit the application after the deadline. on one hand i am quite relief, on the other hand a delay of 5 month maybe can buy me some time to get a head start before all the classes and lectures begin.....ok, this was my "self-explanatory-cum-consolation" before meet up with kayu, if i really cannot make it to august intake la. i can then clear all the major dirty work in lab within that 5 months, then go to classes when school start. ordinary ppl like me will feel less workload and stress. multitasking certainly not sth i am good at..

this is an additional point. self-esteem one. i guess my bone is made of sciences and my soul is made of arts.

Seriously, i feel like a director shooting a film rushing for deadline of Oscar Awards submission now.

模范生

I just finished watching how Man Utd came back from behind and beat Wigan 3-1. i went back to my room trying to surf the soccernet match report.

Then I saw this:



The MSN users in highlight are my cousins, they are brothers. Red is the elder. haha, I can't resist myself, i am very amused. seriously I am laughing now, haha. Who knows what's going on.

ya you are right. the 模范生 elder brother even got his spelling wrong......

Be with you

I had a good cry.

It certainly deserved as my movie of the year.

Be with you.

这是一份这样的工作

我今天走在路上，表弟问我到底工作在做什么。

我胸有成竹地把准备好的答案，按发问者的接受程度和理解能力，说明白了。要说的是他随后的问题。

的确不禁让我再三想想。

这些工作，没有热忱的话是不可能待得太久的。其实什么工都是。我说的热忱，是发自内心的喜欢，和喜欢一个人是一样的。伪装经不起时间考验，口中的热忱不值一提。说我爱你会有几难? 你说说看。如果心里面不喜欢一个人，绝不可能看得见未来。对一段感情充满热忱，就是这么一回事。

那是很完美的状况。想象的。

事实上，我不是很敢说我很热爱这工作。更不敢说我有"发自内心的热忱"。我只是不讨厌她。我没有很伟大的理想，要让全世界患癌的病人有希望；也没有野心勃勃，说要在有生之年拿个诺贝尔医学奖什么的；更没有什么大计，要开跨国企业靠发明新药物卖个每年几百亿美元。

我只是知道我很敬业，做了份内之事，职之所在而理所当然。偶尔解决了一些小问题而感到满足，然后也尝到死结或瓶颈之类的而充满了担忧与不安全感。也会有一些领薪族的顾虑，怕失业，不知几时加薪之类的。最重要的是，我会很容易满足于解决问题。恍然大悟和茅塞顿开的感觉其实是会上瘾的。不过那个问题如果有个好价钱更好。

没有去想过对社会有什么贡献，想是以自己能发挥的专长换取三餐；凭自己的本事赚钱，花的是正财。无论你怎么看，这就是一份这样的工作。要努力和很坚韧，要有耐心，然后靠脉络和运气，还有一点点命数才能脱颖而出。和其他念得出名字的工作没两样吧。

只是，在可以预见的将来，我不再以科学家自称而感到不安。

いま、会いにゆきます

日本电影，いま、会いにゆきます，译现在，很想见你。英文 “Be with you” 。

是一阵前的影片，人人都说好看。我忘了为什么没看，然后久久就淡忘了。

前几天终于看了，姗姗来迟的感动。有人又要说我多愁善感的。其实我只是善感，我一点也不多愁。我一向来都很能够吃人间烟火的。不过这部电影其实不需要带着很大的努力去感动，简单而踏实地用心感受就能体会到电影中想说的话。刻意的被煽动，只怕完全误解了制片和导演。

没看完全部，看了前面一小段，我觉得自己会缺堤。房间里有别人，我不敢。于是快速打带想知道剧情发展。看到的不是什么时空转移，而是很纯粹的感动。两人就是这样在一起，然后生活，接着生下一个小男孩。她按着和孩子约定在一周年死忌的雨季回来了，然后在雨季结束时带着六个星期的生活离开。离开后，决定了他和她那八年的婚姻，两年后生下了一个男孩。她和孩子约定在一周年死忌的雨季回来，然后。。。

就是这样。

这几天其实我睡得不是很好。有点力不从心，很想赶快完成那篇科学报告，然后希望赶在年终发表。说得真容易，现在连八字都还没一撇。要论证的疑点太多，实验设计又不是很厉害那种，时间编排其实就是看我今天心情。唉，什么时候才能坐下开始写。。。

看了一部好电影，就是在心情很低落时，让自己品茗一下，然后再踏步前行。

いま、会いにゆきます。

现在，很想见你。