Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Sentimental me

i guess vs is right in a way. these few days vs's words seem affects me more than usual....

we were talking about what you hv seen in the previous entry.

vs: dont be so sentimental la
me: sentimental your head, i am just sensible
vs: not right, mine is more suitable to describe you
me: how to say? dun anyhow bluff
vs: just admit it la
me: i am not
vs: as you like
me: strong and tough
vs: you are strong and tough in some areas but still sentimental
me: sigh.....
vs: see, sentimental again
me: %$@#%^

today i realise she is still the person that know me very well.

today i am feeling heavy. because the lab is unusually quiet. and there was actually an unpublished entry that describe it. now publish it here because it's censored version, keke. wrote on good friday eve in the lab. suddenly too free, think too much...become sentimental again.

Today supposed to be a good day
it is a day for an end of a 10 months run
so why am i feeling so down
i wasn't realise there is strong sense of attachment
until i found the place is too quiet to be condusive
There are faces that i spent the days together
who brought the noise to my lonely desk
and screw up things that enough to get a fish
before we make a good laugh at each other
Tomorrow is Good Friday, and today is supposed to be a good day

i go everywhere and it reminds me of the past. i am a bloody animal lives on the memory, damn it. i go pantry, i go to that table in canteen, i saw the seat in front of the pc, i saw the 10% media, i saw the diluent buffer, i saw the slides with the hand writting, i saw the locker, i saw the lab coat. i remember the cryostat, i remember the cell count, i remember the multichannel, i look at the mess left on the table, i look at the documents on the desktop.

there is no ppl going to bug me, there is no ppl who is going to ask me where is the stuff, there is no ppl call me why the FACS machine not working. Anymore.

vs, the mirror.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

be a bad guy

vs sent me the article in previous entry through MSN. cut and paste.

she said she a bit worry. i asked worry of what. i scared you become a bad guy, she replied.

hell.

i wonder if she will glad to see me with a gf who loves me more or i holding the title 'a good guy' firmly, if i am the one she prefer to describe. this is not infernal affair, and i am not andy lau, i dun want to be a good guy. good guy no good end.

the reason i write this entry is because i think it may be the bingo hit....ok, the real reason is i want to declare it is true.

it reminds me of stephen chow's KungFu hustle. i want to be a bad guy too.

there are always stories of how a guy has an affair, or immoral, and hurts a girl down to the hell. there are millions of article out there to speak for the girls. and it is ironic that it's all the good girls who create most if not all of the bad guys. guys need girls, for various reasons, lonely, thirst of sex, in search of a wife, enjoy being confined, desperate for a baby boy, or even simply want to try. maybe lack of maternal love, too.

i told her this is the last thing i will compromose. after tt i laughed at myself, what a liar...i want to be a bad guy NOW!!!muhahhahahha!

Saturday, April 22, 2006

男人......

十岁以前,他什么都不懂,就不说了。

十三、四岁的时候,开始对女孩有好感,但是那时候他离女孩远远的,并且以讨厌女孩自居,生怕被同伴嘲笑。

十五岁的时候,听到大人们说某某男人好花,把女朋友甩了,女孩自杀了。他觉得这人真狠毒,自己将来一定要做个痴情的男人,一定要一生只爱一个人。

十六岁的时候,他喜欢上了一个女孩,但是他不敢和她说。仍然和往常一样,脏兮兮的在灰土飞扬的操场上踢球。只在女孩走出校门的时候,躲在二层的窗户上看她的背影,他觉得她一定是个天使。

十七岁的时候,有个女孩喜欢上了他,但是他离她很远,他心里面只有自己那个女孩,他觉得看别的女孩都是对她的不忠。

十八岁的时候,看了一个MTV,感动得想哭,他想,如果自己的女孩失去了双眼,他一定会像男主角会毫不犹豫的把自己的眼睛给她,让她能看到光明。

十九岁的时候,高考了。终于和自己暗恋的女孩分别,坐火车去学校的时候,感觉自己离她越来越远,心像被掏空了一样。还在想自己一定不会忘记她,等到自己成功以后一定要去找她。

二十岁的时候,听到有人讲黄色笑话,觉得这人真可耻。

二十一岁的时候,她的回信中告诉他,自己有了男朋友。偷偷的哭了一个晚上。

二十二岁的时候,他向一个女孩表白,女孩说“你是个好人,可是我还小。”他想,我的确是个好人,他说“没关系,我可以等你。”心想,我不会像那些花心的人一样,三年五年我也能等。

二十三岁的时候,说自己还小的女孩和一个帅哥恋爱了。他很纳闷,长大原来可以这样快。

二十四岁的时候,他又向一个女孩表白,女孩说“你是个好人,可是我并不适合你。” 他纳闷很久,我是好人你怎么还不适合我呢?

二十五岁的时候,他又追求一个女孩,女孩接受了他。他开始很幸福的为未来拼搏,他想,一时的开心只是暂时的,只有努力拼搏,他和她才能有快乐的未来,但是,半年以后,女孩和他分手了。只是因为另外一个男孩会说让她开心的话。女孩说“你是个好人,是我对不起你。”

他似乎明白了问题所在,他是个好人。

二十六岁的时候,他开始堕落,交网友。打扮得时尚而酷,而且渐渐的学习着讨好女孩的话。不久,他有了个女朋友,虽然他对她也很好,可是,他心里知道,自己并不爱她。

二十七岁的时候,他和女孩分手了。他对女孩说“你是个好女孩,是我对不起你。”

二十八岁的时候,他尝试了一夜情,发现别人能做的,自己也一样。

二十九岁的时候,他学会了讲黄色笑话,并且以看旁边的女孩子脸红为乐趣。

三十岁的时候,他忽然发现自己变得很有能力追求到女孩,但是却没有了爱的能力。

其实每个男孩,本来都是想做一个感情专一的好男人的。

其实每个男孩,本来看女孩子都是看脸而不是胸部的。

其实每个男孩,本来都是不会讲黄色笑话的。

其实每个男孩,本来都是渴望爱一个人直到永远的。

只是,没有任何女孩爱这样的男孩,她们觉得这样的男孩太幼稚,太古板,没有情趣。

于是男孩开始改变,变成女孩喜欢的那种嘴角挂着坏坏。开始学会说甜言蜜语而不是心里想说的话。开始学会假装关心,学会给女孩送小饰物讨好她,学会如何追求,如何把握爱情。或者看破红尘,游戏情场,成为女人恨恨的那
种男人。

他们可以很容易俘获女孩子的心,但是他们也会在黑的夜里叼着烟流泪。心里有爱的时候,没有女孩。有了女孩,却永远没有了爱的感觉。在听到女人抱怨世上没有一个好男人时候, 他们不会再去努力做个好男人,只是微笑着擦肩而过。

Saturday, April 15, 2006

余韵

吃了一盘鸡扒炒饭,再加上一碗客家酿豆腐米粉,喝一杯豆花水。很满足,可是少了些什么的。

原来是余韵。

我很喜欢吃一客 Fish & Co. 的 Seafood Platter,喝它独特的有汽果汁。临别依依,付帐时总是有一颗薄荷味的糖果。本来就已经撑的不能再吃,难得还喝完那果汁,还有一颗糖果。那Seafood Platter是主角,果汁是绿叶,现下那颗糖果就是余韵。

言有尽而意无穷,我们还会再见吗?

你谈得开心吗? 我很尽情。最重要的是,余韵还在。笑声悬犹在耳,你笑的时候真的很好看。说着天南地北,似重逢儿时挚友,踏实而普通。下次还想再好好谈谈。

这就是余韵。

Thursday, April 6, 2006

为什么幸福的感觉总被思念所淹没
为什么想要的承诺只能被微笑掠过
如果得不到灵魂又岂在乎耳鬓厮磨