I read your diary, KS.

"路經一個報攤﹐你看到了一份雜誌。我的天呀﹐那個當TIMES封面的不是你以前大學的同學嗎﹖天啊﹐短短十年﹐他就當上了十大最佳CEO! 喲﹗那個以前去德國念科學的同學﹐竟然有份被提名選諾貝爾獎。。。"

.....我們同步出發﹐但他們已走到那麼遠了

.....如果我當初多努力﹐會不會跟他們一樣﹖

.....那﹐不就是現在嗎﹖你已從十年後回來了。你是否應該好好把握今天﹖

.....說的是﹐十年﹐二十年﹐甚至三十年後﹐你回頭看﹐你的人生中﹐會有後悔嗎﹖會有一些你知道你該做﹐但沒做到的﹖

.....人生終要有點遺憾才會美。對﹐但not in this context.

"要青春無悔。別讓歲月留白。"


KS, i read your diary.

I can't stop myself for posting this in my blog. you are still the one i know.

life changes, and we all grown up. your words brought me some faces that i hardly forgot, though i seldom have them in mind either. I wonder where are they now, what are they doing now, how are they doing now... while I'm still here hanging around to look for something.

Inspiration is temporary, still I'm inspired. determination and conviction is what i need. i always tell myself to be humble and identify the fact that I'm just as ordinary. yet every extraordinary dream begins from an ordinary mind, and there is the place to begin with. There were so much ppl besides ourselves are so bright and talented last time, or now, they must be gone that far.

I feel so thankful for never being the number one in the past among these faces, so that i can tell myself i'm not good enough and push myself even harder. Everyone knows there is only one champion, but the true champion will have to compete with himself. In the past, I weren't the outstanding one especially when we stand side by side. But there is one thing I'm so sure I came this far for factors that deserves me to be here. Yesterday I'm looking at their back, but I'll appear on par for today, tomorrow, next month, next year, and the next 10 yrs. May be I'll show them my back too.

I've decided my path for being an "artistic scientist", heh, I like this title so much. i do enjoy what i'm doing, there is so much of things that happened and ppl that keep me going. to be frank, there were many times in the past, the persons that push me forward are friends, and I can easily picked up some word or line, even unintentionally, to inspire myself through them. Even now, I'm inspired by your diary, KS, but again i have to think this seriously..... I need to tell myself instead of waiting for ppl to tell me what to do. I just have to repeat this again, determination and conviction is what i need now.

by now, I know what I can do and what i should do; i have chosen the latter. and i want to hold this tight: "I'd tried my best" is not enough, I have to success in what I should do.

One day you'll see my name somewhere, and i'll make you proud.

I'm ordinary.

but my dream is not.

Wedding...

Went back to KL for my cousin's wedding, was a superb trip. really nice to see all of my cousins and ppl.

Reached KL on Friday evening 6pm sth, then have my dinner with fs at KFC near Pudu. Damn, actually not suppose to have dinner at this kind of place...really not a good choice for having fast food, but was caught in the rain and fs only got the bike, sigh.

There were so many ppl in my uncle's house. 1st child's wedding ma...my generation 1st wedding...wasn't the reason for being so grand la, but just happened that everyone looking forward to our generation...we were all grown up.

After the wedding dinner I was seriously thinking how if it was my wedding...(duh, so gian to get married huh..:P) that was super troublesome. I told my mum and my aunty, haha, when my turn comes, I'll just disappear with my wife have honey moon at somewhere, and having a simple former dinner with family and direct relatives ONLY. Then just get the 1st page of the paper to inform the world "Hi, I married her". Prob this is to compensate the "public recognition" and "ceremony" to inform the relatives : yes she is my wife.

I guess sometimes there are ppl that come to my wedding (if there is any) whose i dun even know who are they, prob my mum's frens or what. sigh. that's so hard and troublesome even just thinking of marriage, what for i spent so much time thinking of it huh???

This is so troublesome.

P/S oh ya, my PC cant start after i came back from KL, duno if my HDD got prob or power supply or the mother board.

where is my privacy...

This is not the first time that happened. I know someone went in my room when I wasn't around.

There was a day I put all my clothes on a chair, unfolded cos no time yet (lazy....), let it be there for a few days already, not really good for that so planning to get it done on the night after i came back. when i went in my room i saw my clothes were all over the bed and the chair was taken out to the drawing room already.

There was a day I was running a program, it took about few hours to finish, I let it run for overnight but unfortunately it was incomplete when I'm about to go for work in the morning...so I just let it runs by itself. When I came back the pc was shut down.

There was a day I was downloading some anime using P2P....it din finish overnight too so I let it running until I came back from work in the evening. The was pc shut down again.

When i 1st came in actually I have try my best to switch over all the "bad" habit adapted in the hostel....eg. left the light open overnight for nth, left the pc running all the time for nth etc. I remind myself all the time to fit in ppl's living style cos i do not have the right to abuse all the electricity and water as in NUS (aiks, what the hell....ahhaha). so even i now i go to the toilet for a bathe or hving a meal in the kitchen, i switch my pc and the light off all together. afterall i'm just renting a room under ppl's roof. at first i did exhibit some of the bad habits but i was getting better now....

aih, but yet again, can you just inform me in the evening when i came back if you want to take the chair from my room? and especially I did put "sth" on it!!! I switch on the pc when i need it and i switch it off when i don't need it, regardless i'm around or away. luckily i was just downloading some anime which may not that important? luckily i was just running a program and not restoring the OS??

the most amusing thing is when i was asked "you switch off my comp? i was running something just now"....i get some funny answer which i don't really understand what's that. i doubt there is anyone that can understand. so if u think i forget to switch off, cant you just say u think i forget so u help me to switch off? if u dun like i left it open when i wasn't ard even it is in use, can't u just tell me straight?? and i do not keep the pc open for nothing k....yet, again, I do not have the right to stop you to go into my room, and to check every single thing to see if i follow the house rules. my bottom line is just, keep me inform and respect my privacy only....

Oh ya, may be it took a month to repair the lock on my door. and i dun think my door lock will be fixed for the coming few months either...so i stay in a room that cannot lock, and the house is not GUYS only...sigh, I dun mind my door can't lock if my privacy is bring respected...i dun want to repeat it again and again....i just want my privacy......:(

and the door lock!:P

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p/s Thanks sm for your concern, i'm meeting stephnie next next week to find out if anything she can do for me.

p/s Ah-derr to cm....I locked my door in the hall when I "want to / have to" lock it k....:s