Wish list

There is a wish, sincerely.

May all the disaster went off.

May the H5N1 flu get vaccinated.

May all of us getting progressive.

May the happiness last longer.

May the holiday come faster...

...may the money turns bigger, may the salary gets higher, may my paper published in Nature and Nicole Kidman and Emma Watson fall in love with me forever!!!!!

argh....may the dream never end and ever ever...

Triumph of empathy

I am very happy today. because i just finished my first English book, in my life. i completed it!

someone came across somedays ago and i found this book: The curious Incident Of The Dog in The Night-time by Mark Haddon. Talking about an autistic 15 year old kid that is gifted with a super duper logical brain. He can name all the country of the world and their capitals and every single prime number up to 7057...aiyeh, this is not about a review of the book...anyway it was International best seller and White Award Winner k....

The New Yorker said: This original and affecting novel is a Triumph of empathy.

so i went to read it and i finished it.

I always tell people around the amount of english books and english essays/articles i read for the past 3 years is taking up more than 90% of total english books/essays/articles i had read so far. I am really glad to have a condusive environment for me to improve. And now i am comfortable speaking english with anyone else.

maybe i shall start to watch movie or TV series without subtitle. shld hv get some good quality DvD verion TV series from state........

Snow. Wolf. Lake.

宁家，一户渐趋没落的富有人家，请来了新的花王，他的名字叫胡狼，一个沉默寡言、不懂与人沟通却又全心爱花惜花的人。陪伴他走每一个孤独步伐的，就是各种美丽的花朵和一只精灵的猴子-一直到他遇上了宁静雪。

　　一次宁家的宴会，富家子梁直为讨宁家二小姐宁静雪的欢心，摘了狼栽的花相赠，其它宾客争相仿效，将狼的心血破坏。狼为了护花与宾客起冲突，最后被势利的宁太太辞退；但狼爱花之情打动了宁家两位小姐-活泼美丽的雪和沉默内向的姐姐玉凤。

　　雪性格乐观，故意主动接近狼，狼被雪深深吸引着，亦首次打开自己的内心世界，心中久违了的一份爱在一刹那盛开。同一时间，狼经常造着同一个梦，梦中一个红衣少女受着烈火的煎熬而挣扎，虽然少女的面目很模糊，但已隠隠然透着一种不祥的预感。

　　一夜，雪和狼看见流星划过夜空，两人道出心中理想:雪愿望有天能够成为出色的小提琴演奏家，而狼的愿望是种出一种可以代表“爱”的花朵，他希望把这种花命名为“宁静雪”，雪的灵魂深深被感动。内向的姐姐玉凤，常常倾听着雪诉出有关狼的一切，心中既羡慕亦为自己的孤独而忧伤，唯有暗暗地将自己代入其中。

　　另一个晚上，雪与狼乘船出海，雪谈到希望到维也纳一间湖畔的音乐学院进修音乐，狼亦愿相随在湖边栽种他的“宁静雪”，两人充满憧憬地称那个湖为“雪狼湖”。平静的海面像为了见证雪和狼的承诺而翻起大风浪，在生死一线间二人紧紧相拥，真爱无惧世间一切风雨。

　　梁直为了要得到雪，用诡计把狼欺骗，让狼以为自己必须离开雪才可以令她幸福。单纯而冲动的狼在一个情人节嘉年华会中故意放了一场火，令自己锒铛入狱，并寄望雪日后可以在别人怀抱中得到幸福。犹如晴天霹雳的雪，更被梁直欺骗狼已死在狱中。雪伤心欲絶，决定远赴维也纳修读音乐，后来在母亲怂恿下与梁直结了婚。

　　雪和狼一对有情人，从此天各一方。

　　在黑狱中，受梁直贿赂的狱警把狼尽情欺辱。万念俱灰的狼在絶望中遇到一位老狼仙，他送了一些爱的种子给狼，并叮嘱狼若以爱心栽种，有天或许可以种出他的“宁静雪”。

　　刑满出狱后，狼遇见一个背影与雪甚为相似的少女，少女没有表露她就是雪的姐姐宁玉凤。原来狼入狱后，她一直悉心照料狼的猴子和所种花，狼感到生命在遗憾中又带着点点的希望。

　　在玉凤的鼓励和支持下，狼重新振作，在市集中靠卖花为生。正当玉凤以为自己已可代替雪在狼心中位置之时，却被母亲发现了两人的交往。狼此时才知道玉凤的身份，还有婚后的雪在维也纳意志极为消沉，幸福和快乐不曾在门前经过。玉凤感到很内疚，着狼到维也纳找雪。平安夜，在一个露天广场的演奏会中，狼终于找到雪。雪百感交集，亦因为自己已为人妇的身份而不敢面对狼，矛盾中拔足狂奔，消失在人群中。翌晨，街上传来小提琴家宁静雪被杀而沉尸湖底的号外消息，狼听闻后悲痛不已。此时老狼仙被狼的悲鸣所感动而再度出现，他告诉狼可以利用“时间伤口”重返过去再见雪一面，但却不能改变已发生的事实，并且若在时限过去之前不返回实，狼将会永远流落在时间当中。狼心中暗忖，为了要再见雪，不惜与天地一博。

　　时光倒流，回到雪死前一幕。雪从广场飞奔返家，质问梁直所有事情的真相。在两人激烈争吵之际，狼从“时间伤口”赶至，在纠缠间梁直错手开了一枪，子弹送进了雪的胸口。梁直杀死了自己最爱的人，疯狂中叫唤着雪的名字逃去。痛苦万分的狼，抱着死去的雪步入湖中。虽然“时间伤口”的时限已届，狼决意与雪永远在一起，漂流在时间的永恒之中。日子过去，湖边终于长出了千万朵代表着雪和狼无尽爱意的花朵“宁静雪”。

　　人们都记得这一个湖的名字—“雪狼湖”

September

it was almost half month already. i wasn't having good days since then. and not in the mood writting in chinese.

i am not even sure if i should write it down. there are just simply too much things in my mind, and i am not even sure how much ppl can understand.

i just need someone to talk abt it. initially i was thinking to wait for vs to tell her abt this when she come to sg this week. just couldnt resist. need someone to talk desperately sigh...plain weak, useless me. poor cm have to listen to all the shit. though never talked as much cos in the train, but definitely feeling much much better.

thanks cm.

玫瑰

佛家语；前世的五百次回眸才换来今生的擦肩而过。

曾经遇到过一个女孩，那个时候我很爱她，只是没有她的允许，我不敢说爱。只好偷偷说喜欢。那个时候她并不喜欢我。

直到后来她又点心动时，我却似乎失去那种感觉，我好象已经不再爱她了。可是当我问自己能做到从今以后不再想起她的时候，才发觉她已经变成我的生命里一个很特别的人，有着无法代替的地位。

这么多年来总是有意无意地想起她，又或者朋友聚会时谈起她的消息，我都有着超乎寻常的关注；接到她的来信或者电话的时候我的心都是莫名的激动和紧张。对她也是异常地宽容。

这么多年来单身未必是因为一直都没有忘记她，更可能的是我在以她的标准来寻觅着我将来的女朋友。

很多年了，有点疲倦。尽管外表没有什么变化，我的心却走过了一个长长的旅程。路很长，很长。一路走来，发觉自己可以超乎想象的勇敢，也曾经超乎想象的脆弱。

只是。都走过来了。

张曼娟说的，一个藏在心中的名字，甚至能够支撑我们走过生命中的冰原，象永不凋谢的玫瑰。

呵，真是一朵铿锵玫瑰。

有童年的人

我是个有故事的人。

小时很爱哭，现在想起觉得以前很懦弱。可是都不记得是怎样停下的，哭给自己听很无聊吧。

有次在幼稚班 偷偷玩滑梯，以为老师不知道，谁知前天晚上下雨，滑梯湿湿的，屁股就在刷的那一下把滑梯擦得干干净净，蓝色小吊裤变得超黑。人小笨不完，走路靠墙弯，以为 可以安然无恙过一天，小息排队一时大意，忘了靠墙，结果被押臀示众。屁股对着小朋友当反面教材，一边哭一边怕: 这回准被告状家长，死梗。

其实我什么都只想到自己，当时有两个屁股对着小朋友，一个我的，一个是别人的。大概我的屁股因疏忽曝光，害得另一个在扫瞄中落网吧。他一定在心里骂我娘。唉，有怪莫怪，细佬仔唔识世界。

那 时候最了不起的是买了一辆红色BMX脚车，后轮附加二小轮(加强版) 。象藤原的豆腐86一样，改装后威力无穷，身轻车快。后来看身边的东西总是慢半拍，觉得了不起，就提出要载人。以前妈妈说坐后面，载你去巴杀，把脚打开。 我说脚打开象初哥，放在‘木区’‘车由’的螺丝上算了。那是不要被车轮绞到，我知，弟弟不知，只懂得乖乖把脚放在小小的螺丝上。

一个漂移，翻车。因为太快，又紧张，他把脚放错地方。脚背一片黑青，哭了起来。我见势不对，也哭。学校的女生都是这样的，哭的总是不挨骂。所以我又哭。最后两个一起挨骂，被禁漂移不说，连豆腐都没得载。我弟弟一定在心里骂我。他不骂我娘。

长 大了，听阿牛的歌<<哭>>,"...眼泪，别白白地流~"，所以只为心爱的女人而流。上个世纪在一个女人面前哭另一个女人，都 不知道为的是什么。有点白流的感觉。所以现在只在看电影时，戏院黑黑的，假假哭一下，自己爽，又没人看见。听说女人喜欢硬男，tough guy never cry，不敢哭。

以后没敢人前哭。

除非我喜欢的那个说你哭出来我就嫁给你，我马上哭。

初夜

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这是久违的文章。终于，我鼓起勇气把手放在键盘上敲出一个个方块字。我想，是时候让自己再抓起汉字吧！就写了。妈的，好慢。

近况不好也不坏，有点低迷，和一点点懒散。努力而没效率地整理自己的心情。好想回家。实验室里头的文化代沟正是我来新后所处的环境缩影。讲着没人懂的幽默，听着陌生的鬼子笑话，再不然就是讨论干巴巴的东西......你不会想听。一星期五天享受这异国情调，还好周末过着一些进口马来风光。

其实好想搬家换下环境，有可以一块儿生活的伴是挺不错的。一个人闷在房间的日子可不好过。现在听着张学友的"寂寞的男人"，实在让人......不懂如何~告别烦恼。想着的是所失去的推动力，我现在最需要的是一个假期吧。最近让人有点兴奋的事情就是关于泡泡，只是感到有点力不从心。惰性，纪律，取材都是要克服的问题。直到现在认真去做才发觉驾驱那他妈的软件是需要日积月累的操作训练的。千里之行始于足下，还是按步就班吧，急也急不来......我现在最需要的是一个假期吧。

昨天老板亲自下厨，煮了一席菜，所以早早收档吃晚饭去了。五点到了她家里，吃饭，讲话，喝酒，吃雪糕和零食，闹了一个晚上，回到家睡得象死猪。我想，这种晚饭或多或少让我想念住家晚饭吧。文化差大概和肚皮没关系。现在好象任何住家饭都很好吃。我是想家想疯了。

接着就象往常一样，六点FS晚餐，然后羽球。总是让人兴致勃勃的星期六，流了汗，爽爽的，心里就满满的了。我觉得我可以很简单，也大概只能很简单，哈哈。明天一早回实验室来个快手脚的功夫，然后开始电影马拉松。先是早场 "七剑"，小息三十分钟，然后午场The Island，下午五点和Tiong Bahru篮球有个约会。我的礼拜就这样过去了。

呵呵，交代一下那暧昧的标题。那是个以键盘敲汉字的初夜。对不起，今晚这里没有"一夜无话"。

kukup again .....just came back.

pretty looking forward to this one with just another group of people. We were all like "going back" to malaysia...haha, ease in using mandarin and cantonese, speak english only to cm occasionally, haha, shld hv make cm speak more cantonese and mandarin too, shldnt accomodate her that much next time, haha. jiun dun seems like the seafood that much, only take some fish and vege...i bet she scared of the cholesterol. haha. how aunty, good bless ej.

anyway, kukup is just another plain mahjong marathon, esp to those beginner. surprise cm was catching it fast...hmm, mayb she knew roughly how to play before. the rest were just addicted, simply addicted. advnced to level 4000 in a night, amazing...and continue on second morning...really a casino warm up...we called this a new disease in singapore "casinoma"...

oh ya, before the next morning mahjong, there was a nightmare...

the house behind our chalet got some incident where a singaporean died the week before we went. so by the time we reached kukup it was the 7th days of the incident. heh, we all know it wasnt a normal day for the 7th...

at night as norm we played mahjong and sing karaok, with all the heart and strength, no body bother care how lousy you are, haha, the next door wasnt any better though :P so then after everyone getting tired, we went to bed at about just before 3am...if my memory didnt fail me. so within 15 minutes i went to bed, it started raining, very heavily....i feel the chill because it really different with the storm night i had experienced before. now then i know how the storm at the sea/seaside is, different grade. thunder-gust....

the windows were not closed, the mahjong left outside, the door was left opened too. it was a disaster. our chalet macam going to float...hmm, tts exaggerated la, anyway, it was getting very wet everywhere. i knew it, just lazy, so continued lying on the bed. hey so now the main electricity plug went off after the first thunder-storm and lightning. entire house went black. wake up and check, turn on the plug again, wipe off all the water, moved in the mahjong table etc....electricity went off again followed by another thunder.

now everyone were awake. just get all the stuff done la...and go back to sleep....felt ultimate terrifying. was abuot to sleep...and now i heard the bloody sliding window keep knocking each other, like someone was knocking outside the windows. what to do? continue sleeping la, maybe heavy rain the "good brother" behind no place to hide just wanna borrow a shield tts y knocking the windows. too bad, hiding in the comforter in an air con room during a heavy rain at night is just simply too comfortable....

* ehh...this is not scary movie...

happy playing with all of them, all very cincai also, diff with last time went with those...ppl, haha. must come again next time, too bad ej, jy and tw din cum, sigh.

射雕英雄传

watching a great china series 射雕英雄传. stand solid on the top list of all versions of this legendary novel of 金庸.

I like the actor/actress chosen for the characters that fit in pretty well. 郭靖(李亚鹏) almost preserved all his famous quality of "dumb". Really dumb, until you can't stand it, ahah. and persevere, hard work, straight, candid, and always dealt on the square. the best idol and example with succesive achievement of an "extra-ordinary" person by practising and exhibiting all these qualities.

and for 黄蓉, initially i wasn't quite accepted her whose acted by 周迅 yet after episode and episode, i found she actually has far more than what 朱茵 can shows. yup, i still think 黄蓉 should looks like 朱茵, unfortunately she doesnt up to 黄蓉's inner qualities, which are so prominent and significant. hmm, ya, no one ever said 黄蓉 is pretty but she is definitely sharp and smart. to be more accurate, she is simple yet tricky. hmm, maybe 朱茵 look + 周迅's act is the perfect combi. haha.

穆念慈(蒋勤勤)of this version definitely much better than the TVB's. China's TV must has truly understand what million's of fans around the world are imagine when they read the novel. she simply act as what I am expecting (oh yea, only me and only me, haha), which the TVB version had completely ruined this strong character. damn HK TVB.

and most other characters in the shows are well designed and exhibit at least one level up than TVB when comes to finer detail of one's character. 包惜弱, 梅超风, 洪七公, 黄药师...they are definitely well studied before put it up on show. Especially 洪七公, i like him sooo much, haha.

Just spent some time at night watching at such good series is definitely relaxing after work. Want to watch it again to see properly how those talented china actor/actress perform and present the characters that live in the heart of the fans over the world. Until today, and finally, there is one series that lifted successfully to the expectation of the crowd.

We must be glad, to visualize the dream in our heart after spend yearss and countless nights in the younger age reading 射雕英雄传.

The existance of science (the existance of philosophy) came from a lot of proven evidence (they have to), that makes the fact a fact; the existance of a religion (the existance of GOD) came from no evidence ever says that it is wrong, that makes the belief a belief.

Their origin is different, in a way, the faith of human to a religion is pretty "scientifically logical", well, a good scienctist never say it is wrong unless he/she can prove it.

Anyway, i am just one of the many atheist out there. because i study science and trained in science, i believe in sth call evidence and fact. though i can't prove a religion wrong either, I don't believe in GOD while I do accept its existance in the heart of many ppl.

for the sake of social harmony, this shldn't be the topic because there are forever parallel and you will never find them meet each other. the believer uses the heart.
but the disbeliever uses the brain.

as a biomedical student, the brain and the heart is equally important physiologically, at least to me.