Christmas Eve's eve

So today is friday and tomorrow is christmas eve.

So sweet of the lab mates, and my dear students. Got a funny slimy-toy from ck, a box from Mary, a set of 2 towels from YC and a piece of chocolate cake from Jo as christmas presents. Went back to hall and got a box of chocolate from kayu. Really feeling warm, even to a person like me who don't really celebrate christmas.

Calling ej and jiun for dinner and they were all went to hougang. so i then eat myself. Suddenly got a very pathetic emotional outburst. I have condusive environment, great lab mates and a considerate boss at work; i have great friends and buddies from hall, school or whatever, have fun, playing basketball, badminton and gathering; I have lovely mother and brothers that will call me at special day.

Yet i am just feeling lonely for every meal i eat. Lunch or dinner. for lunch there are seldom the timing of we can have meal together. one in and the other out. for dinenr, i flip through the phone book, normally call the hall ppl because it's just at convenience, cm, tw, jy, ej, jiun. of course there are ppl other than those in the hall, but when looking at those other names on the phone book, I just choose to eat myself. and the worse case is always when i reach home, my landlord's mother always get ready with a table full of meals with soup vege meat and ....sth just impossible for one like me to have it here by myself alone.

and that was what happened just now.

I can always eat alone. But a family meal is always sth good to have. only and only if i can choose not to eat alone.

sigh.

I need a family.