Satisfaction

The moment I look at (think of) the outstanding tasks yet to be done, I feel such a massive weight behind my head, all the time. when i wake up, when i go for lunch, when i sit on the toilet bowl. The only time i have not think of it may be when i was under general anaesthesia in the surgery.

And there is not much i can do now because things are not ready. not because I am not ready. this is exactly like a soccer player so eager going back to the pitch but the fractured forth metatarsal is not recovered yet. i say, waiting is the best way for the stress to build up.

I sit in front of the pc for 7 hours today. just to screen and read all the papers I need to (have to) cite, which is thing i hate to do the most.....because reading scientific reports is a very dry and brain intensive process. it exhausts brain stamina, tiring. maciam play 200 mnutes soccer match full pitch with 10 vs 11. and i can never understand why scientists like to use difficult descriptions when there is easier and reader-friendly way of expression. maybe by the time i am about to finish my paper or the reviewer reject for the 3rd time, i would understand.

so by 7pm today, i finished 50Mb of reports in pdf.

I am so satisfied.

This is incredible. and i think what's enough is enough. This would be the only time for a 7 hours sci-reading-streak.

because i have blur vision and guess it wouldn't go away until i wake up tml.